Monday 21:52, March 23 2015

I can't believe this is happening to me.

I can't believe I let you do this to me.

I can't believe I let you in, and that I so willingly guarded you under my arms; kept you warm in my chest.

I can't believe how fast I let you touch more than my body, how I let you into my heart.

I can't understand how easily I let you rub your heart against mine, or how softly I would kiss your lips.

I can't forget how you held my hand in public, how a red bracelet defined us for one night.

I hate that I feel such a deep connection, and that it happened so carelessly, it happened so fast.

Is our connection still strong? 

Is our connection gone?

I hate how unfair this is. I hate how I'm supposed to let go. I hate that I'm supposed to ignore my feelings, and for my own good, say no to you.

I hate how fast I got in the depths of your love, and how you refreshed yourself in my shallow waters.

I hate that you can't see the meaning of me, and that you can't let go.

I hate that we didn't last to see the flowers bloom, to fully trust each other.

I hate that we died in the winter.

I hate the thoughts, the wait, the games.

You're like the color green. Fucking retarded.